Balancing Work and Family Life

(*This reflection was initially written and posted on LinkedIn in 2016.)

This morning, I was ironing my shirt to wear to work when I asked my daughter, Kharisma whether she liked it. She responded affirmatively and proceeded to say that she liked pastors as well. I took the opportunity to ask her whether she would like to marry a pastor when she grows up and she quickly responded, “No, no, no, daddy. Pastors do too much work.” That was not necessarily an indictment on me, I believe, because I try to spend time with her and the rest of my family. However, it left an indelible mark on my memory.

Interestingly, I was actually ironing my clothes to prepare myself for a presentation on the topic “Balancing Work and Family Life” at a HEART Trust/NTA workshop that was designed to prepare young people for the workforce. I shared a number of tidbits of wisdom with the young persons that had them engrossed in the presentation. I do not claim to be the best at balancing work and family life, but I shared with them from my experience and reflection and from the experiences and ideas of others.

Among other things, I outlined the following implications of the topic:

1.  The topic assumes that balance is a good or desirable thing.
2.  Another assumption is that balance is possible and achievable. Whether or not it is possible is another matter.
3. Yet another assumption is that “work” and “family life” are significant aspects of human life.
4. A final assumption is that striking a balance between work and family life makes people more productive and fulfilled.

Balance has to do with equality, parity, and impartiality. It carries the idea of equal significance and emphasis. The word actually means “a situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.” It carries the idea that the diverse aspects of one’s life are inadequate (not necessarily equal or perfectly equal) proportion to each other.

Studs Terkel once noted that, “Work is about a search for daily meaning as well as daily bread, for recognition as well as cash, for endeavour rather than inertia, but above all -  for a sort of life.…” Does this description of work suggest that the dividing line between work and family life is blurred? It certainly seems that way to me and the line is actually disappearing in our world of global economic integration, international business, technological innovation, flexi work schedules, and telecommuting.

Another issue has to do with the meanings that people attach to money (for which they work) in our increasingly commodified world. To many people, “money answers all things” (Ecclesiastes 10:19). It enhances their self-esteem or self-worth. To them, the amount of money they have equals the value they attach to themselves. There are those persons who see in money power and security. Others think that money and love go hand in hand. We should remember that money could be and normally is at the foundation of many conflicts. As the Bible says, “The Love of money is the root of all kinds of evil” (1 Timothy 6:10).

What, therefore, should people do to try to strike the work-life balance? I would like to suggest ten actions as follows:

1.     Prioritize (your life). Ensure that you put first things first and work on them. Do not try to be all things to all men or outdo Superman while singing, “Superman ain’t got nothing on me.” You cannot do all things at the same time. That’s the definition of omnipotence, which eludes us all.

2.     Manage (your time). You have to learn to manage your time better. Reject procrastination and disorganization. Your time is too precious a commodity to waste. Use it wisely.

3.     Release (some things and people). It does not matter what you do or who you are, if you weren’t around, life would continue anyway. Let go some things (and people) and move forward. They are too toxic for you.

4.     Declutter (your life). This is a call to simplicity. Complexity might make you feel good and stroke your ego, but it hurts your health and family life. Do not clog your system with too much to think about and do.

5.     Collaborate (with others). Do not try to do everything alone. Enlist and mobilize family members and other significant persons in your life to assist you to share the load and get some tasks done. Collaboration never hurts.

6.     Make (time for yourself and your family). You must have heard the saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” This means that if you spent all of your time working, then you would become bored and boring. Your life is not about your work and your work is not your life.

7.     Find (a new job or career). You may need to change your job or even your career. Your job may not be the best fit for you within your career. Reassess and realign yourself to experience job fulfilment. If a total career change is required for a less stressful life, then it should be done.

8.     Focus (on your holistic health). If you are not healthy, you cannot work and you cannot contribute to family life. Your work should not make you unhealthy. If it does, you may need to recalibrate your priorities regarding your job. Your physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual health is important.

9.     Get (spiritually centred). What does this mean? It means you get in touch with your spiritual being and connect with your Source of life, love, and laughter.  It has to do with living life at soul level. It includes realizing that everything you do starts with you as a spiritual being and leads you to connect with your Source. In my case this Source is Jesus Christ.

      Enjoy (your life). You cannot allow stress and work pressure to overwhelm you to the extent that they squeeze your sense of happiness or joy out of you leaving you edgy, irritable, and “volcanic.” Take a break sometimes and laugh at life and even at yourself. After all, is said and done, you have just one life to live.

At the end of the day, work-life balance requires proportionate distribution of emphasis, time, and effort relative to the different aspects of one’s work and family life. You should seek to establish the appropriate balance that is right for you. Celebrate your successes, no matter how “small” they might be deemed to be, and use your failures as stepping stones to success. Never dwell on and magnify your failures; they would become invincible giants in your life. Remember that life is filled with processes and is itself a process. Therefore, balancing work and family life is also a process. Give yourself some space and time to get it right, nothing more or nothing less is required.

Where is God when Natural Disasters Strike?

I would like, in some way, to debunk some Christian myths and dispel spiritual or religious ignorance that exists in some circles in the Church.  I read an article in the Gleaner sometime ago that suggested that God was merciful to Jamaica in turning away Hurricane Matthew from our island because of the prayers of Jamaicans (although we were deserving of His wrath) and merciless to Haiti because of the wickedness of Haitians despite the prayers of righteous Haitians. I feel compelled to respond to this warped theology.  I feel compelled to declare my presuppositions and assumptions as well as my identity at the outset.

First, I am a Christian pastor and student of the Bible and theology. This means that I come to this issue against the backdrop of a theistic worldview with God at the center of the universe as its Creator, Sustainer, and “Renewer,” so to speak. I also operate within the context of a creation-fall-redemption motif. I do not assume that there is no God like the atheists and I do not think that if there is a god, he is not involved in human affairs, like the agnostics and deists. I also assume that God is all-powerful and, at the same time, all-loving.

Now, the pivotal question here is this: where is this all-powerful and all-loving God in natural disasters and in human suffering? Was God “our very present Help” in our trouble here in Jamaica when we faced the potential devastation of the monster hurricane called Matthew and was he absent when Matthew was devastating Haiti, eastern Cuba, and the Bahamas? Where was he yesterday (May 16, 2017) when flood waters were devastating parts of Jamaica. We must first realize that God does allow the world to operate by natural laws, which, when they are contravened, have deadly consequences. The challenges with man-caused climate change is a perfect example. When we refuse, like Donald Trump and many Republicans, to acknowledge our role in violating natural laws which lead to the prevalence of natural disasters, we demonstrate unenlightened bigotry and unenviable, and even laughable, obliviousness and ignorance. This is unfortunate and regrettable.

The next issue that we have to wrestle with is the apparent partiality of God in a theology of prayer that has God favouring one nation over another although both nations are filled with corruption, criminality, inhumanity, and moral degradation. When we write articles and insinuate that the fervent prayers of people in one nation contribute to the demonstration of divine mercy and those of people of faith in another nation with similar socio-economic problems do not result in the experience of the same kind of mercy, we give the skeptics, naysayers and atheists fodder to keep their fires of unfaith and skepticism burning. We must be balanced and sober in our analysis of natural disasters and God’s role therein.

Furthermore, when one views natural evil or disaster and even moral evil from the perspective of the creation-fall-redemption motif, one understands in a clearer way what is happening on this planet. The created order is undergoing decay because of the Fall and its consequences. However, the Lord has enacted his plan of redemption through Jesus Christ. The fact is Haiti as well as Jamaica is subject to natural disasters as a direct result of the Fall and humankind’s obduracy relative to the abuse of the planet. Unfortunately, and perhaps due to an accident of nature, the experts claim that Haiti lies smack in the middle of a fault line between tectonic plates, which makes it more vulnerable to earthquakes than other countries in the Caribbean (some claim Jamaica is also vulnerable) and it stands in the direct trajectory of hurricanes. Why do these realities exist? I cannot provide the ultimate answers.

What I can declare, though, is that, no matter what happens on this planet, God is there with us. We speak of a good God and a loving God, but we tend not to speak about a suffering God who is right there with His creatures in their pain. Why he has not already said the word and changed the human condition of suffering and pain, I do not know. What I know is that he will transform the created order based on his timing and timeline. We should be humble enough to pray that His will be done and accept the truth that we are not in control of our destiny.

Finally, I remember watching Anderson Cooper reporting from Haiti in the aftermath of that destructive earthquake of 2010 that claimed over three hundred thousand lives when the crushing impact of cholera is taken into consideration. Mr. Cooper decided to air and comment on an ad hoc service that a group of faith-driven Haitians decided to have in the midst of the rubble in one of the affected areas. Believe it or not, right there in their excruciating pain with signs of devastation all around them, the people began to sing in their language the following: “Jesus knows all about our struggles. He will guide ‘till the day is done. There’s not a Friend like the lowly Jesus. No, not one. No, not one.” Those people were living out a sound theology of prayer and suffering.  It is a theology that says that I may not understand why God did not answer my prayers but I trust this Guide in the midst of my suffering. What is more profoundly spiritual than that?

I would like to suggest a few things, which reflect profound spirituality. We should become advocates for the preservation of our planet. We should speak up against deforestation and the emission of greenhouse gases in the name of the seemingly almighty dollar. We should go where the poor are, feel their pain, and contribute to the mitigation of their circumstances. People who are lifted out of poverty are in a better position to survive natural disasters. We should not just pray that God changes things; we should pray that he changes us so that we could change some things around us and make a difference in disaster preparedness and emergency management.

Denominations should not just have departments of church planting and evangelism and prayer ministries. We should also have departments of emergency and crisis intervention and mitigation. We should not just have posh looking church buildings; we should have hospitals, hospices and homes for the vulnerable and disadvantaged among us. We should form organizations that mobilize people against bad governance and government corruption in the management of the natural resources of our nations.  It is then and only then that we would be the stewards of this planet that God intended us to be.

Ethics, Morality, and the Post-Modern Reality

We are living in challenging times!  Ours is a world that is as mystified and bamboozled as ever, especially in the realm of ethics and morality.  Almost on a daily basis we are overwhelmed by revelations of indiscretion with respect to the management of public and private entities, the handling of money, the hiring of persons, the exercise of one’s natural urge for sexual intercourse, the conceptualization and implementation of high-profile projects, and the use of the environment, inter alia.  There’s absolutely no country and no sector of life in any country that has not been affected at some time or the other.  It’s like the world is experiencing a crisis of morality.

Based on the goings on in the world, humanity might be saying via its actions that morality and ethics might just be irrelevant and onerous relics of our religious and superstitious past.  It seems that for them to have significance and power of attraction in our sophisticated and evolved contemporary context they have to be deconstructed, reconstructed, and remodeled.  In essence, morality and ethics have to die a natural death, if that has not happened already, and experience a resurrection in a world that rejects the possibility of resurrections.

The Enlightenment brought with it the spurious belief that reason was king, man was in charge of his destiny, and it would all turn out fine in the end with man as the driver of the vehicle of life as he taps into the innate potential and power of nature.  Since then, the world has reacted against any system of ideas and philosophy of life that looks beyond humanity to a greater entity or being that could inject some semblance of clarity and order to the ambiguity, chaos and apparent meaninglessness of life.  Today many champion optimism, relativism, pluralism, nihilism, hedonism and romanticism and have sacrificed traditional morality and ethical thinking on the altar of Enlightenment-driven human manifest destiny of self-rule. 

This cancer of selfism, humanism and anti-supernaturalism has suffused and infiltrated the entire human species in all its manifestations, dimensions, and spheres of existence.   Not even Christianity has been unaffected and untainted by this malignant melanoma.  Indeed, the church has had to face the embarrassment of injudiciousness, impulsiveness, and misconduct pertaining especially to money and sex.  What is it about these two realities that have animalized humanity and the church?  I am of the view that in the final analysis subliminal basal desire it at the “bottom” of it all.  Humanity thinks it is enthroned, but uncontrolled desire is in charge.

If there is no external authority to whom or which we are accountable and who or which has the power and expertise to help us control this potentially destructive desire, then we are all doomed.  In a world in which desire is emperor and its children, such as hedonism, antinomianism, relativism, and pluralism, are princes and princesses, pandemonium, bewilderment, hopelessness, meaninglessness, and despair are ultimately the terrorists and enemies of us all.  Constitutions, laws, legal provisions, and international protocols have no significance because they have been generated by the same beings who are laws unto themselves.

What should the human community on earth do then?  Should we just open the floodgates of desire and embrace whatever consequences, since we have demonstrated fantastic tenacity and resilience in the face of self-destruction?  Or should we again look beyond ourselves to that which is external, although it cannot be explained by and subject to our established categories of being and non-being?  I would suggest that since the former has gotten us nowhere, the latter is more likely the panacea for the moral maladies of human life on this planet.

Is Life Meaningless?

Many people in our world believe that life is meaningless because of what is purported to have been the chance-based and physics-driven origins of the universe, including life itself.  They claim that life has no transcendental or ultimate meaning beyond that which the human person attaches to it. I am responding to this view as a Christian pastor and theological educator.

One of my challenges with the humanistic evolutionary view of human life on this planet is that it is grounded in the very reality that the proponents skilfully attack - faith. What these Darwinian enthusiasts have failed to acknowledge in their reflections is that evolution is unscientific in that it has no basis in empirical fact.It was grounded in Darwin's observations and conjectures, which have not been demonstrably and irrefutably verified.It takes more faith to embrace evolution and its offshoot called humanistic fatalism than to believe in deterministic creationism and intelligent design.

Some people are claiming, on the basis of the evolution of species and the supposed accidental emergence of life in the universe, that human existence is purposeless and meaningless. I refuse to accept that.

Survival of the 'Unfit'

This perspective would have led us as a species to the edge of nowhere millennia ago. We are not here today because of the survival of the fittest, but because of the survival of the 'unfit' because of divine providence.

History has demonstrated that the underdogs who have lived on the margins of society and on the underside of history have emerged to leave their mark on the world because they were driven by something more and beyond themselves. Christians, like other humans, experience existential anxiety in the face of death or what Paul Tillich calls "non-being". This does not make their faith null and void; nor does it negate the metaphysical proposition that God is the ground of being or Being itself who has given rise to all other beings.

Eternity in Our Hearts

The wise man says in the biblical book of Ecclesiastes that the great Divine One has placed eternity in our hearts. That is why we yearn for "something more," something beyond the meaninglessness of a humanistic, evolutionary, and self-determined existence.

I choose to believe in intelligent design and in a grand purpose behind the existence of the universe, not just because the Bible tells me so, but because life itself demands it.

The Church and Contemporary Challenges

In the book The Bravehearted Gospel, Eric Ludy notes that, “Many [people] today have inherited a faith that has no real life or power.  Instead of zeal there is apathy.  Instead of courage there is timidity.  An instead of confidence there is paralyzing doubt”.  This quotation sums up what the Church in Jamaica and worldwide is facing at the moment in the midst of economic, social, moral and spiritual crises that appear to be unparalleled in human history.  The reality is, though, that, as Qoheleth (The Preacher) clearly states in Ecclesiastes, “There is nothing new under the sun” no matter the sphere of life in which we are experiencing upheavals and crises.  This does not sound too encouraging, but it is the truth.

I outlined the preceding realities in light of the issue of the threat of crime and violence and the challenge of homosexuality.  Many Christians seem to think that the world is coming to an end now because the forces of darkness are dominating this planet.  The recent mass gatherings and demonstrations orchestrated by church leaders and their declarations of possible martyrdom in the event that the Supreme Court open the floodgates to the normalizing of the homosexual lifestyle by declaring the buggery law unconstitutional could be seen by some as a last gasp attempt at life and relevance by a half-dead entity called the Church.  

Those of us who are Christians need to realize that the Church no longer holds the positions of privilege that it enjoyed since the time of Constantine.  The forces of secularization and those with a sinister futurist agenda have orchestrated this current scenario that bewilders those of us who lack insight and foresight.  Jamaica is no longer a Christian nation, if we could have classified it as such.  This means that, as Himes and Himes note in their book Fullness of Faith: the Public Significance of Theology, “the church must be engaged with but not seek to control society”.  Nevertheless, its responses are understandable given the fundamental nature of the implications of crime and homosexuality with respect to the perpetuation of the human species.

I suggest to my Christian brothers and sisters that we should not be apathetic, timid, nor paralyzed by the vexing occurrences around us.  The Church should return to its roots and recapture the transformative “power” that it demonstrated at its inception in the first century of this era.  We need to demonstrate life-inspiring zeal and passion for the Lord and the lost again.  We need to be courageous in our attempts at realizing our core mission of transforming the world.  We also need to reject paralysis of whatever kind and move forward confidently knowing that no matter what is happening in our society and in the world, God is at work slowly but surely fulfilling His purposes for mankind.  We need to be more Christologically redemptive, penetrative, illuminating, and contextualized in our communities and leave the rest to the Creator, Sustainer and the Judge of the universe.

Time to Pass the Disability Act

It is unbelievable that, in post-modern Jamaica, people with disabilities are still being treated with disdain and their dignity trampled.  I say this in light of a story in another newspaper of Tuesday, April 17, 2012 about the appalling and inhumane treatment of Sarah Newland-Martin, the Head of the YMCA.  Whereas it is expected that the security forces must carry out their duties to protect and secure this country, one thing that does not seem to be a major focus of some members thereof is their duty to serve all the people of Jamaica and treat each person with respect and care.  What happened is blatantly scandalous and incredibly reprehensible.  We must not tolerate such treatment of persons with disabilities in our civilized society.  We should not repeat the sordid historical episodes of intolerance with difference and impatience with those who are differently abled.

This brings me to the issue of the need for societal education on disability issues and stakeholder intervention with a view to the preservation of the inherent dignity, humanity and rights of people with disabilities.  Many ignorant and bigoted people in our society need to undergo a change in their attitude and behaviour relative to persons with impairments of whatever kind.  To use a theological concept, they need to repent for the way they have treated our disabled brothers and sisters.  This can come about through purposeful and sustained educational efforts in the media and other means with the aim of debunking the disabling myths that run deep in the soul and culture of our county about people with impairments and fostering a social atmosphere of inclusion, acceptance and participation.  Many institutions of higher education in Jamaica, such as the University of the West Indies and the Jamaica Theological Seminary have been sensitizing their students about the value of human diversity and the beauty of difference in courses in disability studies.

With respect to national stakeholder involvement in the promotion and maintenance of the dignity and inherent humanity of people with impairments, something tangible and long lasting must emerge from this investigation that the Transport Minister Dr. Omar Davies has ordered into the preposterous mistreatment of Mrs. Newland-Martin.  I call on the Jamaica Council for Persons with Disabilities (JCPD) to apply pressure on the Minister of Labour and Social Security and the government in general regarding the passing of the National Disability Act that has been in the making for many years.  The office and title of a disability advocate should be established and included in the Act. 

Furthermore, the disability advocacy groups in Jamaica, such as the Combined Disabilities Association (CDA), should continue to lobby the government to implement the Persons with Disabilities Sector Plan of Vision 2030 Jamaica.   

Indeed, when we become a society of diversity and tolerance with respect to people who are otherwise abled, we would have realized the Vision Statement for persons with disabilities for Vision 2030 Jamaica.  It says that we envision “A society that is inclusive, accessible, provides opportunities for all and recognizes the rights, freedoms and responsibilities of persons with disabilities in the process of nation building”.   Indeed, if this vision statement were realized in concrete ways, it would contribute to making Jamaica the preferred place to live, work and raise children.

Disability and the Image of God

Is the image of God in persons with disabilities?  Are able-bodied people more reflective of the image of God than disabled people?  These are questions that are being asked in the disabled community and within theological circles as well.  Charles Feinberg (1972) says that, "The image of God constitutes all that differentiates man from the lower creation. It does not refer to corporeality or immortality. It has in mind the will, freedom of choice, self-consciousness, self-transcendence, self-determination, rationality, morality, and spirituality of man. The ability to know and love God must stand forth prominently in any attempt to ascertain precisely what the image of God is."  This seems to be a very good summary of what the Imago Dei is all about.

Most scholars agree that the image of God in humans cannot be their mortal body because it would mean that God has a body.  This flies in the face of Jesus' statement that "God is spirit" (John 4:24).  However, if our bodies do not reflect the image of God, what do they reflect?  In the context in which it is found, one can conclude that it is related to the dominion that humans were expected to have over the other creatures.  This might be true.  However, it seems our physicality has nothing to do with the Imago Dei.  It means, therefore, that many persons who are physically disabled or impaired are persons with the image of God despite their impairment. Even persons with mental or learning disabilities possess the image of God despite their intellectual or mental problems and struggles.

What role does a human being's body play, if any, in any discussion or theology of the image of God in man? Do our bodies 'image' God? To what extent can we claim that the image of God rests in persons with disabilities or impairments?